This past month I have witnessed and felt an immense weight. My best friend’s mom died and because my childhood and growing up years were so intertwined with their family,
it felt a bit like losing my own mother. There are floods of memories that keep sweeping in and taking over my thoughts. For right now, those memories make me incredibly sad because that is all that is left, just memories with no hope of making new ones.
I flew to Idaho as soon as I could and was there by my friends side. We cried together and laughed together. This was her loss more than mine and honestly, I just wanted to help. I think I would have run laps, jumped up and down and stood on my head if she would have asked. Through some of the laughter we decided there was definitely a right way to approach someone who has suffered a loss. There are acts of service that are helpful. There are words that bring hope and there are ways to help those in need to heal. A roadmap of how to navigate grief is a bit simplistic. My friend says there is a definite etiquette about it. It’s obvious when those etiquettes fail and this is not the time to fail.
All this grief has to go somewhere and we decided direction is needed. As someone working through sorrow and sadness, Kendra has been writing down what people are saying and doing that are helping to ease the pain. She is remembering this process so she knows how to help the next person that has to go through this. She is making notes so she can better provide comfort. She is already thinking about others and finding ways to help them heal and feel love. I love this quote that many Methodists view as their motto.
“DO ALL THE GOOD YOU CAN, BY ALL THE MEANS YOU CAN, IN ALL THE WAYS YOU CAN, IN ALL THE PLACES YOU CAN, AT ALL THE TIMES YOU CAN, TO ALL THE PEOPLE YOU CAN, AS LONG AS EVER YOU CAN.”
Grief is one of those times where we all need help. My friend is going to become your friend. She is going to share how to really help someone through grief. She will help put words to thoughts and offer concrete ideas on how you can serve someone who is trying to cope. We all want to do good, we all want to help but we need to be pointed in the right direction and wouldn’t you do anything for your first best friend?