Most mom’s I know hate Mother’s Day. For many moms, it’s not a day to celebrate your accomplishments as a mother, it’s a day to take stock of your countless shortfalls. It’s not a day where you look at your children and think to yourself, ” I’m really good at my job.” Nor is it a day where you are comfortable being the centre of attention and all the awkwardness that surrounds it.
But a few years ago, after hearing a conversation about the dread surrounding Mother’s Day, I decided to forget it. Darn right I deserve a day to be thought about, acknowledged and given a gift or two.
Mostly, I looked at my daughters and thought, I don’t want them to feel like failures. I want them to own Mother’s Day when it’s their turn.
I can’t say much about my mothering skills, some days are better than others. I have made many mistakes and I’m very aware of them. I constantly mishandle situations, overestimate my kids, underestimate my kids, say the wrong thing, do too much, don’t do enough and lose my temper. Motherhood brings out the best in me and the worst in me. This is why it’s so hard to celebrate it. It’s impossible to separate the good parts from the not so good parts.
However, when I think about this journey that I’ve been on for 17 years, I have learned some valuable life lessons. I have become a different person and know I need to try and be a better one. This is what I celebrate on Mother’s Day. I am on a journey and I’m not giving up on myself. I’m not just raising children, I’m learning lessons I need to know. I’m filling in the blanks, being tested, learning how to keep loving and taking it for what it is. It’s a journey. I’m on it and that’s reason enough to celebrate.